Friday, April 07, 2006

an ill-fitting shirt

Tromping home in the rain today after school, where the atmosphere in the classroom seemed to be as rainy as it was outside, I wished for the sunny skies and warm sun of Texas (read, America - for in my present state of mind, in the States, everywhere is sunny). With the final push to June, it's difficult to get excited about school, about classes. I feel tired a lot. Perhaps it's just the rainy season, a lapse of the spirit that will recover with the turn of the weather. But now, all seems dreary and dull, except for one thing. There is a huge tug-of-war in my mood and heart. I'm happy to be going home - HOME - the very thought... But I'm sad too, to leave the thing I have come to care about the most. The thing that makes me happy, despite any temporary stumbling of my mood, is seeing Inessa. Long ago I told her that the more we met together, the harder it would be apart, and now, being together over 6 months, discovering more and more who she is and how we complement each other, it's hard to be in my little village, or the black hole, as I call it, and harder to think of that inevitable time when I will step back into my dust-covered, foggy life like an ill-fitting shirt.

4 Comments:

At 4/18/2006 06:52:00 PM, Blogger bekah said...

I can't wait to meet the woman who has so captured your affections...

I pray for God's will and purpose in both of your lives.

 
At 4/21/2006 02:47:00 AM, Blogger KazAch said...

Uhhh, I'm not bringing her home or anything. In fact, we've decided to be friends when I go back. Though, I want to stay in contact with her, because she's such a great girl. Who knows...maybe sometime she can visit the states. Then you can meet her. (Thanks for praying.)

 
At 5/01/2006 07:48:00 PM, Blogger bekah said...

Oh, I know you aren't bringing her home. I still want to meet her though...and you're welcome. ;O)

 
At 5/06/2006 02:14:00 AM, Blogger KazAch said...

Yeah, I wish you all could meet her too. She's a great girl. Sometimes she's a little confusing, but all girls are a little confusing sometimes. And it could be that guys are just dense... (If you're reading this Inessa, you're great!)

 

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